


Lets Start Today Tomorrow

by styl



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25507966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styl/pseuds/styl
Summary: After the car crash, Jen and Judy know they can't imagine a world without one another.
Relationships: Judy Hale & Jen Harding, Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	Lets Start Today Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is my idea of what I want to happen the day of/ the morning after the events of season 2 so I just wrote a one shot for it. If the tenses of the story switch around a little i'm sorry i'm not the best at picking up on those mistakes!!
> 
> I was also listening to the song Start Today Tomorrow by Youth Group while writing most of this so give it a listen if you'd like.
> 
> Enjoy !!!

Judy’s eyes opened as soon as her body relaxes from the stiff position it was in since the crash, the harsh light of the summer sun isn’t welcoming. Every movement felt heavy as if her bones had suddenly became steel. As she took a deep breath in and tried to adjust the position she’s sitting in, she felt Jen’s arm lying on her lap. Her mind ticks as her body recalls the other car hitting them.

She remembers Jen pushing her back, covering her from the side the car was coming from.

Judy let’s her eyes readjust, not caring that she could feel the rays of light like lasers entering her eyes, and turned to Jen. She’s knocked out hard, and as soon as Judy saw the shard of glass stuck in the side of Jen’s face forcing blood to run down and drip onto the patch of deep red forming on her shirt, she began to fear this could be bad. Judy starts to call her name, louder each time as the adrenalin began to fully kick in. Jen’s only responses were small mumbles that Judy couldn’t make out but she knew was full of confusion. Judy only took her eyes off of Jen when the other car drives away- she at first is confused as to why but then decided to not give it much thought, she knew the mindset of leaving a situation like this all too well and there were bigger issues. Jen’s eyes eventually open but they’re unable to focus on anything, she constantly was trying to figure out her surroundings.

Judy didn’t stop saying Jen’s name until ambulances come and take them both away from the scene.

.

The hospital separated them both to check over their conditions. Judy didn’t know where Jen was. How she was. The doctors kept giving her empty answers and asking her to calm down yet she couldn’t, she was too panicked on Jen’s condition to even think about her own. They advised her she’s awake and getting checked on as soon as they hear from another nurse and began doing what they could to treat the small cut on Judy’s eyebrow. They notified her on her small amount of bruising she got from the restrictions of the seatbelt. She continued to ask about Jen, they don’t say much. They left her to rest once they finished.

It took a while but as soon as the adrenalin left, she fell into a deep sleep, especially for midday. She didn’t wake until the noise of Detective Perez closing her hospital room’s door along with the faint footsteps of the nurse that went towards the clipboard on the edge of the bed woke her. Judy’s eyes were heavy as she looked around the room disoriented for a moment.

“Mz. Hale?” Perez questioned softly; it was probably the nicest Judy has ever heard her be towards her.

As Judy tried to re-adjust her position in the hospital bed, the slight movement where her bruising is placed sent the memories of the crash running back into Judy’s mind, her whole body feeling the force of the car being hit by the other for just a second. She couldn’t help but speak her what comes to her mind, her voice panicked,

“Where’s Jen? Is she okay?”

“Your friend is fine, Ms Hale. She’s in a similar condition to you as it looks, you both will be good to go soon. We’ve just had to stitch up the cuts, everything should be good,” the nurse reassured as they complete reading the clipboard. They check over a few more things before heading out, “You and Ms. Harding are good to go, you should both consider yourselves very lucky. I’m going to get your doctor for you.”

Perez and Judy waited in silence till the door closes all the way, the click being too loud for comfort. Judy tried to shake off the shock and be okay, but it’s not as easy as it usually is. She couldn’t bring herself to be the smiling Judy everyone always sees, she was too weak.

“Mz. Hale,” Perez asked as she sat down in the visitors chair, “Do you remember what happened?”

“A car hit us.” She replied bluntly, almost swallowing her words.

“Do you remember anything about the vehicle?”

“It was black... more of a box shape than round. There was a man driving I think, I wasn’t really focusing on the other person.” Judy paused for a moment as she watched Perez scribble down the details she was picking up of the vehicle, but Judy’s mind couldn’t keep focus on that, her mind kept wandering back to what she couldn’t help but ask, “Have you seen Jen?”

Perez froze for a moment, her eyes stuck on the words she’d written and the pen still on the paper, letting the ink bleed slightly on the end of a word. She shook her head out of her small trance thinking about the question as she made up her mind,

“I’m going to tell you the truth Mz Hale, I’m sorry if it comes off blunt. As the doctor said her condition is the same as yours, physically. I visited her first, she barley said a word, she wasn’t fully able to focus on what I was asking, let alone the environment she was in. Now this isn’t something to worry about; the nurse in the room told me it was part of physiological mutism post trauma; you might have heard cases like this with children as it’s more common. Jen does somewhat reply, they feel once the initial shock of the accident leaves, she should be back to her normal self. I’m telling you this Mz Hale because I know you tend to worry and go overboard... so... there’s that. She won’t fully be herself.”

Judy just nodes, her reaction to it all is jumbled in her mind. She’s upset knowing Jen’s going through much that no one can properly explain, but she can’t help but be so happy that she’s okay. _She’s okay. She’s safe. She’s alive._ The words just keep repeating in her head as Perez tried to make it more light hearted saying it’s the quietest she’d ever heard Jen. She went on to explain both Judy and Jen need to come into the station at a later date to make a report for the hit and run. The doctor walked in with items for Judy as Perez began to leave,

“I’ll be outside with Jennifer so I can take you both home.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Judy says, slightly off put by the offer.

“Well Mz Harding seemed to not like the idea of her mother in law coming to pick the both of you up, so unless you know anyone else, I can call to get the both of you-”

“No,” Judy interrupts, “I don’t. Thank you though.”

With that, right as the door began to close behind Perez, Judy sees her first grin from her.

.

The car ride was quiet, the air felt thicker than usual. Jen starred out the window the whole time, her eyes kept going in and out of focus from what was outside the window to the window itself. Being in a car again didn’t feel right to her. The only thing her mind wasn’t confused about was where her hand met Judy’s. Judy hadn’t let go of her since the hospital.

Jen had felt safe when she saw the familiar sight of the woman in her floral dress walking down the hospital hall, her bangs slightly bouncing with each step, revealing and covering her stiches with every movement. Jen thought for a moment if she should try to cover up her stitching too, she didn’t want people to see her like this, but immediately the thought left as Judy reached her with her arms held out. She let Judy just hold her for a moment before her body caught up with her thoughts and she raised her arms, hugging her back.

Jen could feel the fabric of the car seat against her fingertips, the palm of her hand was held in Judy’s. She kept her view on the window, her mind only reacting to the touch of Judy’s thumb caressing the back of Jen’s hand. They hadn’t spoken but Jen knew this was Judy’s way of saying _I’m glad you’re okay._

Jen slightly tightened her grip of Judy’s hand in response, _You too._

.

Jen sat with the television on, Charlie’s head leaning on her shoulder and Henry’s on her stomach, along with his arms wrapped around her. Jen had no idea how Judy was capable of doing everything she was. Perez had informed the boys of the accident beforehand, but it was up to Judy to explain her silence as she couldn’t. It was now Judy who came out from the kitchen into the living space with four bowls of spaghetti in her hand. Sure, it was from the box which is unheard of within Judy’s food preparations, but in this case, it was equivalent to making a three-course meal.

_How on earth is she doing this right now? How is she taking care of us?_

Jen’s mind couldn’t help but wonder. Charlie adjusted how he was sat in order to reach out and grab who of the bowls before they fell, passing them onto his mother and brother.

As the reruns played on the TV, they all sat eating their food. All apart from Jen, who just sat there twirling the spaghetti around the fork. With every twist her mind remembered the reflexes of her body as she saw the car- twisting the wheel as much as she could with one hand to try and swerve out of the way. The other shielding Judy. She wasn’t going to let herself lose anyone else in her life.

Jen hadn’t realised how much she’d zoned out, it wasn’t till Charlie had quietly called out to her, softly shaking her out of her trance. She realised the TV had been switched off and all the bowls packed away in the dishwasher. The sky seemed a bit darker than the sunset she remembered.

Jens thoughts even felt like they were stuttering as she tried to get words out, “What... Where’s- where-”

“Judy and Henry both said goodnight to you mum, don’t you remember? Judy just went to put him to bed. Are you okay?” Charlie asked as he helped her up from the couch.

Jen forced her eyes readjust before answering, “Fine. Just... off.”

“’Cos the shock, right?” Charlie questioned as they made their way to the stairs.

Jen nods as they made their way up the staircase, Charlie’s hand hovering behind his mother's back just in case.

.

Judy readjusted how her blue robe sat on her before pulling the covers over Henry, making sure they were tucked in enough for him to feel comfortable. Even though the only light coming into the room was from the hallway at this point, Judy could see he was deep in thought, yet smiled once Judy made eye contact with him. Judy smiled lightly, her eyes giving off as much warmth and safety as they possibly could. She had to make sure he knew everyone was safe and he wasn’t going to lose another parent.

“Goodnight, sweetie.” Judy smiled, brushing his hair out of his eyes and giving him a kiss on the forehead as his mother usually would.

She turned on the nightlight before making her way out of Henry’s room.

“Judy.” Henry called out slightly worried.

Judy held onto the handle of the door, positioned where the entrance met the hallway, “Yeah?”

Henry contemplated before speaking, “Can you go check on mum for me?”

Judy smiled with some sorrow, “Of course I will. Sweet dreams.”

.

Jen stood in her ensuite, staring at herself in the mirror over the sink. The scarring was beginning to heal more next to her eyebrow, it felt uncomfortable while her face moved too much. She felt drained still, wondering if her energy would be back in the morning. The sound of the bathroom door being opened after a knock ran through her ears, she ignored it at first as she thought it was Charlie. It was to her surprise when she heard a woman's voice,

“Jen?” Judy spoke, followed by her finding Jen over the sink looking at herself while the cup in her hand had lost balance, spilling water over the floor, “Oh, Jen, sweetie.”

Jen snapped out of her trance and realised that a lot of time had gone past without her realising, Charlie had left but she must have said goodbye when her body entered autopilot. She looked at the cup in her hand with confusion as to how it would have fallen. Judy opened the small cuboard in the bathroom with extra towels as she spoke,

“Jen it’s okay, go out and get dressed, it’s fine. I’ll clean this up.”

Jen put the cup down next to her toothbrush holder, she realised she’d brushed her teeth but forgotten to wash the brush. Bubbled toothpaste ran down the brush holder and onto the bench. She looked at it for a moment, trying to gain the energy to clean it.

“Jen,” Judy whispered next to her, holding a small handtowel to clean the floor, “It’s okay, I’ve got it.”

Jen looked her in the eyes for a quick moment as if to say sorry and left the room without recognising the way Judy was looking at her. She couldn’t make out the snapshot in her mind of if Judy’s eyes held worry or love, or both.

.

Judy closes the bathroom door to see Jen sitting on the side of her bed looking out the window, her blinds still open revealing the black sky with the odd spot of light from space, the subtle glow of light from the city sits on the horizon and reveals the outline of surrounding houses. Judy walks over to Jen and sits beside her, Jens eyes dart towards her for a second before returning back to the landscape.

They sit in silence for a moment, Judy’s mind began to race through everything that had happened within the last year. Everything right up to that very moment. How it all could have been avoided. She tried to do what she always did, bottle everything up and wait till she was alone to let it all out, but this time her emotions were falling through the cracks. She spoke before she even realised that her thoughts had escaped internal conversation to her external,

“I’m sorry.”

Jen turned and looked at her confused as to what she was apologising for to be met with the sight of two tears slowly rolling down Judy’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Judy repeated, “This is all my fault.”

Jen shook her head in response while grabbing Judy’s hands to try and comfort her. Judy was stopping herself from accepting that it wasn’t her fault and began to nod,

“Yes, it is. I saw the sign, Jen. It’s all my fault.”

Suddenly Jen felt how delayed the rush of energy from the crash was as it began to catch up with her,she had to speak, she forced herself to, “It’s my fault, I’m the one who put the sign up.”

“You had to put that sign up because of me!” Judy snapped back in disgust with herself, her chest beginning to shake with her breathing.

“No.” Jen whispered with her realisation of what Judy was thinking at the very moment.

She was blaming herself for everything; things that Jen had already forgiven, things that there hasn’t been time to forgive, things that there haven’t been words of forgiveness for. Every single thing, Jen would forgive her, she needed Judy in her life more than out of it. She wanted Judy in her life. Whenever Jen pictured her life, Judy was now always there and she couldn’t imagine anyone else. There was no replacing her, the girl who would always brighten up her day no matter what and she would find a way to do it in the most perfect way, doesn’t matter how simplistic or extravagant- it would be exactly what she needed. The boys needed her in the mornings for breakfast, and at night for dinner. The boys needed her support when she couldn’t give it to them herself. For a moment, Jen admitted to herself she needed her for those things too, she needed someone there to take care of the smaller everyday things. To be there for her because Ted can’t be anymore. She needed someone that’ll be around for her, and she would be for them. When she thought of who that person was, all she would picture was;

_Judy. It’s only ever going to be Judy... I’m so stupid._

Jen looked up out of her trance of thought to see Judy had left the room, her bedroom door still opened, she whispered as it was the first moment since the crash thatshe was alone and aware of it, she began to panic as the fear of losing her rose in her body, her voice whispering before she ran out of her bedroom, “Fuck.”

.

Jen made it to the kitchen to see the backdoor still opened, Judy was walking in the cold night air as fast as she could to the outhouse. She was looking down towards the ground right up until she reached the doorknob, Jen felt like she couldn’t even control what her body was doing, her feelings and fear had completely taken control as she called out as loud as her still aching body could,

“Judy!”

Judy turned as she was opening the door; tears were falling uncontrollably straight from her eyes to the cold concrete surrounding her feet, adding to the thin moisture that was in the night air. She started shaking her head and slowly walking back, just being around Jen made her feel guilty, that something else was going to happen that she couldn’t control that would cause her harm.

“It’s all my fault,” Judy began to ramble as Jen just kept walking towards her, “I don’t deserve you, you’re too good to me. I just cause you so much unhappiness, I just keep wrecking your life. I’m so sorry, Jen, I’m so sorry-”

Jen reached her for what felt like too long without her, she first held onto her arms which Judy couldn’t help but react to by holding hers back. Jens hands rise up to Judy’s face and she began to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Judy held a confused look on her face, after all she had said Jen was still there.

“Judy...” Jen said trying to hold down the overwhelming feeling that sat in her chest, “ _you_ _are the cause of my happiness._ I don’t know what my life would be like without you, but I know for a fact it would not be this good. Complex, sure, shitty at times, fucking one hundred percent, but it’s so worth it... because you’re in it.”

There was a moment of silence where they couldn’t hear anything but the soft noise of leaves rustling in the trees and water knocking against the pools edge lightly as Judy realise how Jen was talking to her. Not many people had ever said anything like that to her and actually meant it, and the ones that meant it were always the most important people in her life. Jen had never talked to her like this. She wasn’t talking to her like just another friend. She wasn’t talking to her like a best friend. She wasn’t acting like someone who she would consider just a friend.

“Jen?” Judy whispered as the cool air suddenly felt thicker.

Jen went to answer, but her throat suddenly felt tight at the thought of making out a word. Jen shifted her focus onto Judy’s eyes to see they had changed from their confused state to be softer, starring at her lips with urge. The smallest tug from her hand on her arm felt like a gravitational pull to Jen as she felt any sort of control she had left of her body release, her thoughts slipping down to the edge of her lips as they acted upon them.

She leaned in to the gravitational pull as her eyes closed, her lips meeting Judy’s. She couldn’t help but feel giddy, the feeling felt somewhat foreign as she had never felt it like this, it felt serious and exciting. A mixture of the most rational choice she’d probably ever made but most childish feeling. The way she felt was so intense that it was indiscernible and incongruent. She was kissing Judy, and she could barely believe it was reality.

And Judy was kissing her back.

Judy felt Jen’s hands run into her hair, Jen felt Judy’s hands drop from her arms to her waist, pulling her in until Judy bumped the door frame behind her. Jen pulled back for a second, she wanted to make sure the fact this was happening was okay. That she hadn’t just ruined their whole relationship because Judy didn’t reciprocate how she felt.

Their time apart didn’t last long and Judy had already begun to cling to having the feeling of Jen’s lips on hers. Judy slid her tongue between Jen’s parted lips, which made her whole-body shiver at the touch. Judy kissed Jens neck as they stumbled back into the outhouse, closing the door behind them.

.

Jen wakes up underneath the sheets of Judy’s bed. Her eyes adjust to the bedside table in front of her which has a jar of paint water holding some brushes within it and small tubes of paint around it. There’s incense burning besides the lamp which is turned off. She turns to where she was expecting to spot Judy but she isn’t there. Jen sits up in the bed, her head spins slightly from the slight pull of her stitching as she felt the comfort of the sheets on her legs. She realised as her eyes looked around the room that her pants were on the floor next to Judy’s robe and top.

Jen didn’t remember much from the night before because it all felt like a blur, but as she’d move her body would remember Judy’s touch on her skin. The feeling of her fingers getting tangled in her hair, then how they moved down and danced along her back, how they grabbed her thighs, and how they brushed her lips in-between kisses.

Jen felt herself about to fall apart at the thought of it.

.

As Jen reached the backyards door she heard the familiar voices of her family and smelt freshly cooked pancakes and syrup.

“You guys all good?” Judy asks as she places two dishes into the sink and turns the water on.

“Yeah, thanks for breakfast.” Charlie says putting his backpack on, “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Henry replied as he swallows his last bit of apple juice, “Thanks for the food, Judy.”

“That’s alright guys.” She smiles as she picks up their utensils and cups.

Henry runs up to Jen at the sight of her and gives her the biggest hug before they both say goodbye and leave for school. As the front door closed, Judy turned off the tap to the sink. Their eyes meet and immediately they both know this is different from any other morning. They’d kissed. They’d kissed and didn’t want to stop till the moment they grew too tired. They’d felt one another in ways they hadn’t before. This was all different and new.

“Good morning.” Judy spoke as she thought the silence went on for too long.

Her mind had begun to wonder at the thought of her waking up before Jen every day and getting to see her asleep. Having her hand casually resting on her waist and Jens hands in fists resting against her chest. She loved the way she slept, she looked peaceful.

“Morning.” Jen replied.

“Did I sleep talk?” Judy asked knowing since the day of the hit that her mind was never fully turned off from her mistakes, “I’ve been told I do that a lot.”

Jen shook her head, her voice smooth and soft as she walked to the adjacent side of the kitchen counter where Jen was standing, “You were quiet. You were smiling a little though.”

Judy smiled as she thought, _she noticed._

With that note, they both realised that things from here on out weren’t going to be the same as before. Neither of them wanted it to be. Jen smiled back at Judy before the moment felt more serious yet the lightest it had been in months and Jen didn’t want that to leave.

They’d seen each other in a new light and Jen wanted to invite this new side in, she smiled as she greeted her new relationship with Judy with a whisper, “Hi.”

The greeting was in invitation that Judy knew she couldn’t decline as she accepted with bliss, “Hi.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me if you'd like !
> 
> Instagram (i do edits): deadtofreaks  
> Twitter: deadtogeeks


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